Alt: Geheimnis Worter

View previous topic View next topic Go down

Alt: Geheimnis Worter

Post by Ayvaen on Wed May 14, 2008 6:00 am

OOC Forward: I missed writing diary entries to Ayvaen, so I decided to do some as No'en, it makes sense and it's a good way to let people know what's going on with the tiny details related to Bastok if they're interested.

Today I returned from San d'Oria. I was looking forward to good news about the trip to Pso'Xja being cancelled, but it doesn't look like my words with the Queen did any good. Infact I'm surprised she blatantly disregarded my cautions and even her own concerns by allowing Minister Tahni to continue on her way and even sanctioning her actions by sending a representative.

From our discussion she seemed adamantly opposed to the idea of allowing them to pass into the Northlands without understanding what their objective was. According to Tahni it was their intention to study the ruins since they bare a remarkably similar apperance to those in Sarutabaruta, but I know better. This Tahni is the minister of the Animastery, which concerns itself from summoning. And another Terrestrial avatar sleeps within those ruins. I cannot prove this is her intention, but it seems likely to me. It troubles me that she'd lie, but I had to feign the fool for the time being, I cannot make it too clear that I know all I do about Pso'Xja.

Still, it was an unsettling feeling allowing outsiders into my old home who may potentially murder my breatheren as they make their way through the ruins of our city. At the time I had no fondness for the place, but in retrospect I feel Tahni will be violating the area with her presence. These younger children of Vana'diel have no place disturbing the peace in those halls that has lasted 10,000 years. Perhaps it bothers me because the place is essentially a tomb.

It is becoming increasingly apparent that the task of defending Vana'diel from the Zilart falls to me alone. The leaders of other nations seem to be lacking in honesty and courage; but not intellect. I think Tahni is a clever one, as is Sabbiel. Both are very capable of playing the part of naivity and helplessness when it suits their needs. If I am going to meet with a wolf, I may as well do so with one who doesn't fancy sheep's clothing. I see myself speaking more to San d'Oria's "Lord Chamberlain."

No matter, I've other matters to be concerned with. Soon I leave to have my wound examined, I fear in my stressed state the stitches have been torn free from their place. Blood has soaked through the bandages and stained my shirt. After that it's off to yet another interview from the press and then hopefully some time to rest.

It's been many days since I've had some personal time. This never bothered me before, but I've noticed changes in myself as of late. People have a strange way of imprinting themself upon you.


Last edited by Ayvaen on Wed May 14, 2008 12:41 pm; edited 1 time in total
avatar
Ayvaen
Admin

Posts : 75
Join date : 2008-04-22

View user profile http://cantaperme.darkbb.com

Back to top Go down

Re: Alt: Geheimnis Worter

Post by Ayvaen on Wed May 14, 2008 6:36 am

Kiyoumi's debriefing of what took place in Pso'Xja was simply enraging. To think that Tahni intended to disturb Diabolos all along and kept this a secret from the rest of us. This coupled with the Windurstian Government's apparent lies about Mhaura's intentions and activies, and I have no recourse but to abandon faith in their apparent charade of positive intentions.

Granted, I don't always tell the heads of other nations the truth in matters either, but I never purposely lie in harmful ways. I know the bigger picture of Vana'diel moreso than they do, and what is truly important in our dealings. But they are concerned only with self-interest, which in many cases "self" doesn't extend beyond their personal benefit to their country. I believe this to be the case with Tahni and her blind ambition for the power of another avatar. I can only hope that sooner or later she'll experience the joy of attempting to "dominate" Bahamut. The younger children of Vana'diel are so utterly arrogant at times, despite their ignorance of history.

It would, however, be terrible if it ever came to that. I often wonder if fulfillment of the pact would fall to me in that scenario. It's likely that others live still unchanged, perhaps within the Armathrwn society. They may've banded together with the Zilart as a result of sheer unfamiliarity with the current state of the world and distrust of the people who now inhabit it. I can't say I entirely blame them.

Hume are very greedy and simple minded, they lack a concern for the origins of life and the true history of their race. All that seems to concern them is hedonism and short-term accomplishments. To them knowledge is only useful if it's practical; they don't understand that impractical knowledge is merely information awaiting an eventual use.

Elvaan are too concerned with the proper way of doing, saying, and being. The only "proper" way to be is successful at whatever you endeavor to do.

Galkan tradition is misguided dogma based on irregularity, not exceptionalism. They don't understand that how things was has no bearing on how they should be. One must admire their raw strength, but their inability to control their rage is detestable. They need to get with the times, or they will likely continue to dwell at the bottom of the social ladder in Bastok.

Tarutaru are the worst of all. They squandered the gift of magic the last of my people gave to them. Their self-gratifying quest for power got them no where in the end. In the present era they're far too interested in the pursuit of magical principles to understand the utility of basic physics. There's no need to concentrate for several seconds and summon elemental energies to destroy when a toss explosive will do the work in half the time without the chance of a mis-cast. Their lack of balance in all things is notorious.

Mithran traditions are pure nonsense. Their laws are based upon tribal society which should've died out ages ago as their people evolved. At least those that don't adhere to their classical ideals seem tolerable enough.

I suppose every race has its drawbacks, even the ancient ones. The Zilart were overly arrogant and wanted to erect monuments to their perfection and divinity. But perfect beings make no mistakes, and the Zilart's error is all too apparent when looking out across this world.

The Kuluu suffered from a crippling crisis of self-confidence and a gripping inferiority complex, always fearing and thinking they were never good enough because of ideas implanted by the Zilart. If I was like that, I'd shoot myself.


Last edited by Ayvaen on Wed May 14, 2008 12:41 pm; edited 1 time in total
avatar
Ayvaen
Admin

Posts : 75
Join date : 2008-04-22

View user profile http://cantaperme.darkbb.com

Back to top Go down

Re: Alt: Geheimnis Worter

Post by Ayvaen on Wed May 14, 2008 6:49 am

I am growing much too tired to continue on like this. Each day brings a new challenge, I am used to small issues behaving this way, not crisises.

With the battle in Altepa the threat of war seems more likely than ever. If the Shadow Lord has turned his sights on the nations of Vana'diel again, this time he's going to serious regret it. Bastok's advanced at a tremendous rate, our weapons are more effective than ever, we are already close to being prepared for war, and I'm making arrangements to finish the process.

I've given orders to salvage the Antican army for materials before disposing their corpses, their armor and weapons should provide a large stockpile of darksteel and iron, which we can use to manufacture weapons and ammo. When trade with Mhaura is finalized it's likely that food prices will decline, making it easier to supply our troops with rations.

The nation is awake and ready for what follows as well, it seems the Galkan hatred for Antica has spread over the last few years to all members of this nation. We are already planning an operation for a swift counter-attack against the Antican Hive to seal them underground, but much work needs to be done before we can finalize this. I've commissioned cartographers to make excellent, detailed maps of the Quicksand Caves and Altepa in general we can use to coordinate our tactics in the area.

On another note, it's becoming increasingly difficult to keep quiet about the sudden existence of my personal life. Those involved are making it more and more difficult to hide. Being publicly disobeyed certainly raises eye brows, as well as fond touching while teaching the use of firearms. But the consequences of full disclosure are too great to admit the truth; especially after the incident in Norg a week passed. In truth, that still weighs heavily upon my conscience.
avatar
Ayvaen
Admin

Posts : 75
Join date : 2008-04-22

View user profile http://cantaperme.darkbb.com

Back to top Go down

Re: Alt: Geheimnis Worter

Post by Ayvaen on Sat May 17, 2008 10:59 am

It seems Mhaura has finally declared its independence and set off on its own. With this mercantile protectionism abroad has been struck another blow, paving the way for new economic ventures. This will inevitably help our economy grow even more, and while this is a victory for Bastok, there are more important concerns at hand. However, I feel there is little I can do at this point.

Waiting for the Shadow Lord's official declaration of war is our only option. I wonder if we've already seen it but are too indecisive to accept it for what it is, but there's little sense in worrying about that. I have already put my plans for a multinational alliance into motion, including accepting the necessity of it in the grand scheme of things. It's tempting to allow the war to wear down potential opposition before intervening, but I don't need that weighing on my conscience as well.

The surveying will take time, until then I have to hope that there's no more major attacks by the Antica that aren't anticipated ahead of time by our scout teams. I'm having them place linkpearls within any discovered Antican Tunnels to monitor them and assist in the eventual operation, that should be enough to give us advanced warning for the time being. We're exterminating the above-ground Antican presence, so if they wish to mobilize an army it will have to be thorugh the tunnels.

It's temping to destroy them as we find them, but such an action would probably draw attention to our plans that they are not expecting, and cause them to take actions to prevent us from succeeding without desperate losses. What worries me most is that we do not know the size of the Antican Hive, or the number of soldiers it possesses.

I hate to admit it, but the entire plan is ultimately a gamble. If timed explosions in various quadrants of the entrance to the hive fail to collapse a significant portion of their network to the surface and not just the very top, then our actions will only serve to agitate them. Should it come to that I've had our engineers install emergency explosive devices within Korroloka itself that're well-hidden and deeply covered by rock in such a way that they are only operable by the hidden detonating mechanism we've devised. Destroying the Korroloka Tunnel would have a massive impact on Bastok's economy, morale, and race relations; it should be avoided at all costs. If such a devisive action were to occur, saving Bastok might only be a temporary measure, as it would make Civil War all the more likely.

I've decided what I'm going to propose as the Alliance's solution to end the war quickly, I just have to hope that all sides submit willingly to the plan.


Last edited by Ayvaen on Sat May 17, 2008 11:30 am; edited 1 time in total
avatar
Ayvaen
Admin

Posts : 75
Join date : 2008-04-22

View user profile http://cantaperme.darkbb.com

Back to top Go down

Re: Alt: Geheimnis Worter

Post by Ayvaen on Sat May 17, 2008 11:29 am

Policy and tactics dominate my thoughts lately. My writing has clearly reflected this, but not the whole of my work as President. It feels strange to "want to set the record straight" for an audience such as this, paper and pen give no applause and show no interest in a well rounded view of things. It's probably my desire to eventually release this journal publically so that all can know the truth of my presidency. And I still plan on doing that some day when the war on the Zilart is fought and won.

Many of my days are consumed by paperwork. Everyday a flood of letters is brought directly to my office containing proposals to review, documents to sign, and ideas to be heard. The man who used to deliver my mail would jokingly blame his back problems on the large sack he delivered to me every morning for sixteen years. While I don't necessarily discount his claims, I think it more miraculous that my eyes haven't suffered from daily strain.

Then there's the meetings, many groups domestic and foreign want my attention. I began using my office away from the Metalworks for that very reason. It functions as a flexible work environment to entertain guests of all varities, civilian and otherwise. I also find that after a drink, alcoholic or not, those I meet with tend to be more relaxed and open to others' opinions.

And for a long time my favorite activity of all was wandering aimlessly about town. After a few trials it became readily apparent that you can learn far more about being a public servant from observing the Republic's citizens in their daily lives than you can from listening to the Senate 'represent' them. I believe that Bastokers on the whole are good people who are primarily concerned with their family, their livelihood, and their future. They want to be protected from the negative influence of others, and free to pursue their hopes and dreams.

It's nice to have the occaisional reminder that my goal has always been to elevate the standard of living for all of Vana'diel and protect its future. In all of the political manuevering and bickering it's easy to forget that. Sometimes I doubt if I'm actually having a positive effect on the world. It's easy to lose your way in politics. Over the course of my career I've seen it happen to many people who started out well intentioned and good natured. I think that the more detached you become from the people you serve, the more likely this is happen.

Tyranny is when a ruler stops using the power the people have vested in them for the public good and begin using it for their own. In the long run my goals coinside with that which is best for the world, and I pray that it stays that way.
avatar
Ayvaen
Admin

Posts : 75
Join date : 2008-04-22

View user profile http://cantaperme.darkbb.com

Back to top Go down

Re: Alt: Geheimnis Worter

Post by Ayvaen on Sat May 24, 2008 4:06 pm

The mines are all but burning, things don't look very good. This move by the Shadow Lord was ingenious, I suppose what they always said about his cunning was actually true. With the rioting the Antican Salvage operation is slowing and it's becoming difficult to move troops around between Korroloka Tunnel and Bastok proper. If the Anticans were to attack now, our defenses would surely falter, and the resulting destruction of the tunnel would be a nail in the coffin of Hume-Galkan relations.

The Senate has finally rubber stamped the alliance between nations, but the timing couldn't be worse. Offering a unified force looks now makes Bastok look weak unless I'm very careful about presenting this to the other nations. This is after all not about Bastok's survival, I believe that's guaranteed either way, it's about preserving each nation's military might so that we won't be left vulnerable to the Zilart. I'm sure we can manage our resources through this so that the flames of war only serve to strengthen our resolve and power, but I'm having a hard time seeing how. Fatigue is setting in. Not physical, that's something I'm familiar with, but certainly mental.

Bastok is quickly losing faith in my ability to govern, and the only thing capable of turning it around is this war. My successes have been downplayed by the traditionalists and my growing number of enemies.

I'm beginning to wonder if it's worth it anymore. I've been thinking about resigning. My campaign against the Zilart may be better fought more directly and without the backing of a nation; and truthfully I'm even beginning to lose interest in that.
avatar
Ayvaen
Admin

Posts : 75
Join date : 2008-04-22

View user profile http://cantaperme.darkbb.com

Back to top Go down

Re: Alt: Geheimnis Worter

Post by Ayvaen on Sat May 24, 2008 4:23 pm

Today I realized I'm lonely. It's easy to ignore a problem until you realize it's there. This isolation for the sake of my goals is seeming less worth it by the day. I'm beginning to wonder how I managed eighteen years of this until now without any difficulty. I know what changed; I know where I faltered. It may be worth it yet, but that seems unlikely.

I'm having trouble sleeping, I grew accustomed to the way things were. So much seems different now. Several times a day I look around my office and think about how empty it feels. I mentioned this to the maid today and she suggested I get a plant.

Waiting is probably the worst part. If only something would happen to take away this feeling of uncertainty. Even then would I be able to move on?

But thinking about it serves no purpose. I need to find a way to divert my mind back to what matters; to thinking of ideas which will help me regain control of this country and my position as President. But it's so difficult to care about professional things in light of my personal situation. Perhaps this was all a big mistake.
avatar
Ayvaen
Admin

Posts : 75
Join date : 2008-04-22

View user profile http://cantaperme.darkbb.com

Back to top Go down

Re: Alt: Geheimnis Worter

Post by Ayvaen on Tue May 27, 2008 4:02 pm

I feel like a chapter in my life just ended.

It was a matter of months, things happened very rapidly. Now they're going to change back equally as quickly, if not faster. It's become evident that it's time to roll back the clock and forget everything. I need to return to the way things were. It's painful to realize I was alone in my enthusiasm.

I went in a new direction away from my goal of defeating the Zilart, and let myself become sidetracked with personal matters. I cannot say for certain but it seems my professional career suffered as a result. So many things have gone wrong for Bastok since my attention split, so it seems likely.

There's a lot of work to be done. Now I need to focus on ending this war and making the right decisions so that we'll be prepared to fight the Zilart if need be.
avatar
Ayvaen
Admin

Posts : 75
Join date : 2008-04-22

View user profile http://cantaperme.darkbb.com

Back to top Go down

Re: Alt: Geheimnis Worter

Post by Sponsored content


Sponsored content


Back to top Go down

View previous topic View next topic Back to top


 
Permissions in this forum:
You cannot reply to topics in this forum